I Don’t Practice Santeria
When I was in Jr. college, me and two of my close friends (Spoon and Tony) would have something called “comedy hour” early in the morning before class. Basically we would walk up the hill to the cafeteria at Glendale Community College, order a chorizo burrito, find a table, sit down play some Magic (card game) and chill/joke around for an hour. We had a lot of good times in that hour, and I have fond memories of Tony randomly busting out into song (usually in with a Sublime song) in the cafeteria. One particular memory was the day Spoon got his name. Tony and I were playing Magic and talking about how the cafeteria uses actual silverware instead of plasticware. We thought it was odd considering that college students are notoriously cheap/poor and would most likely steal the silverware to save money from buying their own. Now I don’t know why or how we stumbled upon talking about silverware, but that was comedy hour. The hour you are not really awake yet, your brain doesn’t work quite right and you are bound to say or do something stupid and make everyone else laugh.
So Tony says, “I wouldn’t take this silverware. Do you realize how many mouths have been on this spoon? Why do you think I always order a burrito?”
Excellent point right?
So Spoon, (who wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation) chimes in, “did you guys need a spoon?” He then reaches into his infamous backpack (he kept a lot of odd stuff in that backpack, but that’s a different story) and pulls out a cafeteria spoon.
So Tony, ever so logical, says “Why the F do you have a cafeteria spoon in your backpack?” Spoon replies, in typical fashion, “I don’t know. I think I threw it in there when were packing up to leave to class the other day.” At this, Tony and I both convince Spoon to empty his bag on the table, and here were the contents of his backpack:
- School Books
- Pencils and pens
- Handful of smoke grenades
- A Pokey toy (from Gumby & Pokey) with a missing leg
- A fold up bowie knife (about 8 inches long)
- Magic Cards
- And about 6 spoons.
Tony and I just stared at him with the biggest ‘WTF’. Spoon’s reply? “What are those spoons doing in there? Oh! My smoke grenades, I was looking for those. Hey do you guys have any matches?”
That was about 10 years ago, and we’ve called him spoon ever since.
So nowadays, whenever I hear a Sublime song, I fondly remember my friends, Tony and Spoon, and the good times at Comedy Hour. So here’s to Tony and Spoon, cuz Tony won’t use silverware, Spoon has no matches, and I don’t practice Santeria.
Sublime – “Santeria”
I don’t practice santeria got no crystal ball
I had a million dollars but I’d spend it all
I could find that heina and that sancho that she’s found
I’d pop a cap in sancho and I’d smack her down
All I really wanna say
I can’t say it’s love I need
But my soul will have to wait till I get back and find
heina of my own
Daddy’s gonna love one and all
I feel the break and I got to live it out
I swear that I really wanna know
All I really wanna say is I got mine and I make it
Yes, I’m comin’ up
Tell sanchito that if he knows what is good for him
he best go run and hide
Daddy’s got a new .45
And I won’t think twice to put that barrel straight
down sancho’s throat
Believe me when I say that I got somethin for his punk ass
What I really wanna say is there’s just one way back
And I’ll make it but my soul will have to wait
